I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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