Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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