Who did Billy Mays play for?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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