are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I love having hate sex.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
