i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Randomize
