what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
