apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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