I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
