Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
