see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
