my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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