I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
The uberlube is also flammable
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
