last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
