I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Randomize
