this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize