they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
