there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize