After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
