you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
