your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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