The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
