More tranny stories later!
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
