I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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