Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
i out mim tonsoeep
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