he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
