Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
