good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
