Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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