I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
