"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
