Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
