While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
