the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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