Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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