We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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