meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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