I bet he comes in French.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize