He is such a slut. More and more my type.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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