she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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