I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize