Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
