Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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