Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
