I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
