Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
