Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I understand Curling. That high.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
