I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
