You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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