Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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