The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
