): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
