why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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