She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
