Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize