i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
