I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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