How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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