I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We talked him into tasing himself.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
