can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
