i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
