Have you finally orgasmed yet?
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Is Oprah even human
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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