she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
