So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
